Blast from the past
Blast from the past
As I looked at my teenage daughter, with a mix of despair and pride, I quickly realised she is a lot like I was as a teenager. Except she has the confidence to be in your face about who she is and how she is. I was an unusual mix of outrageous hair and clothing, yet a shrinking violet who somehow managed to excel in French whilst being terrified of speaking in front of other people.
As my teen daughter went upstairs, and I asked if she was wearing shorts, she hitched up her T-shirt, then her shorts, and stuck her bum out defiantly. At least she had tights underneath! At her age I hid in terms of hiding my body, didn’t like anything that showed off my body shape. Her shorts on the other hand, well I almost considered the need for a search party! I do not disapprove however, I am proud that she is so confident and believes she has the right to wear what she wants.
If you are old enough to remember, and you probably are if you are parent of a teenager, I wanted to look like Robert Smith of The Cure. Yes he is a bloke, and I clearly was not, but I had the messy hair, dress shirts, oversized suit jacket, black jeans, beetlecrusher shoes, even the purposely badly applied red lipstick. My own mother said she was ashamed of me and forbid me to visit her in her workplace. I was heartbroken to hear these words come from my mother’s mouth, and this memory has shaped how I parent, especially how I view the teenage years. From that moment I vowed to be my mother’s opposite if I ever had children. I want my daughter to flourish in her individuality, and never be ashamed to be herself and it looks like I have succeeded.
What a great mum you are, turning your own experiences around to imbue your daughter with the confidence you lacked as a teenager. I was the same, I hid myself under baggy clothes and long hair, wish I’d known then what I know now. I modelled myself on Pamela Courson, Jim Morrison’s girlfriend, for a bit, all round purple glasses, hippy skirts and bells…Shame it takes some of us to reach our thirties or forties before we truly get the confidence to shine.