Why I hit the bottle this week

Shock on the scales! I have lost three pounds without dieting. Let me tell you how, as this is miraculous for me and might work for you if you need it to. Fat clings to me like cladding to an old boiler. For years, it hasn’t mattered what I’ve done, given up crisps, wine, sawn my arm off. I’ve stayed stubbornly at 11 stone. And just lately my chin looks as if a chicken has laid an egg in a skin-coloured sock and someone has tied it under my face.

Three friends arrived for a girly night in with M&S bucks fizz (4% by volume and cheap), we all had places to go early the next morning – and one friend in her 40s had the glow of a women in her 30s, pre-motherhood. Light bounced off her skin like an angel’s face in an old master painting as we ate and talked by the candlelight round my kitchen table. And, she was thinner. Much thinner.

Her secret? A hot man? Facials? It turned out that she’s doing more exercise and eating raw vegetables. Nope I thought, impossible for me. I’m too lazy. Then she mentioned that she’d shed her first stone by drinking 2 litres of water per day. OK, I had nothing to lose. The next day I added four pints of water to my regime. Given that I have the bladder of a mouse at the best of times, this wasn’t a good idea – but I persisted. Absenting myself to visit the restroom eight or ten times an hour.

By Monday my bladder was adjusting and I could finish a two minute conversation and catch a train with no potty stops. Alas I had no pint glass at work so I bought a liter bottle of water from the canteen. The water drinking habit became enjoyable, so much so that I attended a meeting with a senior director who eyed me incredulously as I continued our discussions while glugging from an enormous plastic bottle like a hamster with dropsy.

But I have kept going, and finally, after five days, I am three pounds lighter. It could be that I’m eating less because I’m raising a bottle to my lips every thirty seconds – in the style of a chain smoker. Who knows, but I’m going to keep hitting the bottle – and not just the cheap bucks fizz!

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