How TripAdvisor landed me in the poo
What kind of person fails to study TripAdvisor before putting a deposit down for a family summer holiday? Yep. You’re looking at her (or rather her blog). Fool and money parted at the travel agent’s desk.
Last year we went to a place in Crete that had glowing TripAdvisor reviews only to discover on arrival at 1 am that the receptionist and the owner’s grandmother must have written them. Dump was a kind word for this ‘Holiday village’. The rotting balcony balustrades (for an 11 year old and two 16 year olds), the non-existent-unless-you-stand-a-chair-with-binoculars sea view we were charged £200 extra for, the 1-star ambience of a Miss Faversham wedding cake with fat droplets in the air, cockroaches so large they had their own sunbeds by the pool and spider webs you could hang your washing on.
So this year I said “TripAdvisor I no longer trust you”. I am going with my instincts. Having found a holiday village in Tenerife with a cinema, bowling alley and American football, I railroaded my better half into going for it without what an accountant would call due diligence.
Deposit paid and excitement rising, we did read TripAdvisor. Among the tales of food poisoning – yes we did book all inclusive – and the reports of wailing children, unswept rubbish and watered down drinks, there it was an intriguing thread entitled “Poo closes pool”. ‘What’s wrong with people, this could happen in any hotel’ I thought. It was only on closer reading that I realised that these poos were big – adult big poos. The TripAdvisor contributor had seen them, three in three days. He speculated that it must be a teenage thing whereby they poo in the pool for a laugh on their last day.
Lord help us. I wondered how the holiday village management could police that. Will there be a note to every parent of every teenager staying there saying ‘Kindly ask your off spring not to defecate in the pool during his or her stay’? Will every guest be invited to use the toilet instead? Or was it just one rouge pool pooper?
The moral of this story is do your homework. We thought about trying to cancel the holiday but then decided we’d take our chances. At least it can’t be as bad as last year’s accommodation… hopefully we won’t have a sh*te experience.
