• Parenting Teens: Go the F*** to Sleep

Parenting Teens: Go the F*** to Sleep

Having kids wrecks your shut-eye

Having kids wrecks your shut-eye

Recently I was reminded of a brilliant book, which, while shining a light of one of the most irritating parts of early-years parenting, currently resonates with me as the parent of a 17 year old.  Go The F**k to Sleep written by Adam Mansbach, is a children’s book for adults that came out in 2011.  It was written from the exasperation of it taking up to two hours for his small daughter to fall asleep.  We’ve all been there, but now I find myself there again.

Our daughter is currently doing her A Levels and in my head this equates to the need for major amounts of sleep.  It does – on weekends – when asking her to rise from her pit at any point before noon is considered a breach of her human rights.  But on a week night nothing I say, particularly as I head for the loo at gone 1am and see the light shining out from under her bedroom door, encourages her to get to bed earlier and avoid the inevitable morning awfulness.  There’s also the small matter of parental privacy.  When she was young she would sleep through earthquakes, storms and millennium fireworks.  These days, because she goes to bed much later than we do, we’re never quite sure if we’re being overheard – if you get my drift.

Weekday mornings are utter joy – if your idea of joy is being driven slowly mad by the first four words of  Starship’s We Built this City every ten minutes on snooze until I am three seconds away from yelling ‘For God’s sake, get the f**k up!’ and she can no longer escape the time needed to trowel on make-up before school.  Food has now been downgraded to an optional extra.

In that I have salvation, because Mansbach has also written a sequel:  You Have to F**king Eat .

I wait in anticipation for his third book, which I hope is titled What F**king Time do you Call This?

 

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