THE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH: Please help me God…
I have spent much time cultivating this loving, caring, open relationship with my children. I have let them know, repeatedly, that they could tell me anything. Unlike my own mother, I smugly mused, I would be approachable and responsive. And how do my children reward me: they tell me the truth! They confide in me, in eye-popping detail, things that I don’t really want to know. I clearly see now that I had the good grace and courtesy to lie to my mother. It was a loving fiction we both played out. A carefully orchestrated pas de duex between what was credible for her to believe, and what I was willing to reveal. I would lie and say I was sleeping over at my girlfriends, and she would sweetly respond, “OK dear, when will you be home?” Now that is what I call good manners! I could do what I really wanted to do, and she wasn’t compelled to take a stand. Yes, the emperor had no clothes, but we left him blissfully unaware, and gave him a cheeky wave, as he sashayed out the door. Oh, no, not my children – they let the poor man know his birthday suit is completely unzipped and his jewels underwhelming. For example, my daughter confided in me that she was getting a fake ID from her cousin. When I told her that she was not allowed to do that, she looked at me as though I had just put her favorite cashmere sweater in a hot dryer, and ran over her cat. Sigh! I can’t help but be nostalgic for the days of genteel courtesy between mother and child.
I was extremely amused with your blog and how true this is for my own situation. I have been asked to help my teenage daughter with the strangest situations! Loved this!
You have hit the proverbial nail on the head. How true is that!! I too would prefer to be blissfully unaware. Just love your hilarious blog! I haven’t laughed that hard for a very long time!!
Can we pick and choose what they tell us. That would be great. I need a strategy to shut my mouth when she actually shares something with me. I think all mother’s years ago had their heads in the sand some to deep.
Love your blog you are a gifted mother
Love it auntie bevy!! I actually laughed out loud. Now i know where my mom gets it from :p
As the daughter of immigrant parents who were extremely conservative – I told them virtually nothing. I used all my intellectual and emotional powers to protect them from the truth. I too, thought I should parent differently and have met with the same result – my children tell me everything. That’s what you get for thinking you will learn from your parents and do it better! Hah! Turns out – the truth hurts.:D
as a survivor of parenting teenagers I love all the comments . I too was amazed and frazzled at all my 4 teenagers shared . Their friends were my best ally willing to share as well.it is wise to cultivate them. Many disasters were thwarted and wrong turns blocked some not. I was that open minded approachable , attentive and supportive mother. so different from the generation before me. The generation in which children were seen and not heard. and the threat WAIT TIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME was feared. I had enough fear to hide everything from both of my parents,. Still til this day the secrets are safe from my elderly mother as well as my own children! Now that my youngest is 30 I am hearing stories of escapades I did not know about at the time and I am grateful for that. My hair turned gray fast enough and I can say I have earned every wrinkle! They tested the waters and survived and spared me some anxiety.
I commend your sense of humor a much needed tool of survival
I commend your ability to stay calm when all you want to do is scream GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE OR ARE YOU STUNED
Good luck
the best is yet to come
it will be interesting to see what kind of parents they will become
We all do the best we can.
The time will come when you will be able to say to their children..Boy could I tell you stories
Loved your blog Bev. You really have hit the nail on the head. I always wanted an open, modern relationship with my children and so like you I have always let them know that they could count on me and tell me the truth. I feel young at heart and will sing and dance to their “in” songs. I have an open and friendly relationship with their friends and so I am Anna, not Mrs. Cristiano or Ma’am. But what I’ve learnt is, a generational gap between parents and childen is inevitable, and that’s the way it should be. Let them have their secrets, as we had ours.
You have a way-with-words Bev…. you speak the truth and make me laugh at the same time – great combination.
Keep blogging!