“Your relationship with your kid is worth more than grades”

Four things to remember about your kid’s exam results

With exam results hitting teenage eyeballs just now, what can you as a parent do to limit the pain or keep any smugness in check? We asked around on Facebook and to Parenting expert Elizabeth O’Shea.

Elizabeth’s advice was: “Your relationship with your child is worth more than grades.” She recommends thinking around the options if the grades suggest your plan A is now unobtainable. “Have a plan B in mind, and a plan C”.

Exam results 800px-Andrea_RodriguezParents told us: “I always told my kids I was disappointed for them not by them if a result was a bit off, I also encouraged them to try again if they could. You haven’t failed until you stop trying.”

“I ask my kids, “did you try you hardest and do your best?” Whichever answer they give then speaks for itself and we have a discussion based around their answer.”

“As a kid I was always told “if at first you don’t succeed then try, try and try again”.”

My own Mum was so upset when her Mum said to her when she came second in the class “Why didn’t you come first?” that I grew up in a family that barely asked about grades. I’ve also heard of girls weeping because they got six A stars, but then had just an A for the other exam, proving that what ever our kids get – it’s relative.

Our Dad blogger Stu writes in “The Results are in“: “I remember getting bad grades in school and not really caring. I also remember my mom throwing a fit about a D here and there… and there… and there”. He says:

“In reality, grades are a great way to teach the lesson of consistency. To teach responsibility. To teach a work ethic.

“Good grades are an expectation. They aren’t something that deserves a reward. In that way, bad grades don’t necessarily deserve a punishment… under a simple condition:

They tried.”

What’s your experience, and what would you advise other parents to do?

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