I Miss Halloween.

I Miss Halloween.

halloween-01As our kids grow older, things change. How’s that for a prolific statement?

Our kids don’t really curl up in our bed when they’re scared. They’re able to get themselves to evening and weekend sports events. We, as parents, no longer “save the day”… on a daily basis. We miss doing those things, right?

For me,

…it’s Halloween.

All Hallow’s Eve

halloween-02Heck Yeah! Best holiday all year!

For us, Halloween wasn’t a one-night thing. The weeks leading up to Halloween were all about costume ideas. A few weekends before October 31st held a wagon trip to a pumpkin field to pick our own pumpkins. Surely, that night we’d carve the pumpkins into amazing – and well, maybe not so amazing – Jack O’Lanterns.

While the pumpkins were being carved, the seeds were being “roasted” in the oven. The night concluded with the ceremonial “lighting of the pumpkins” in the bathroom (’cause it was the only room that could get perfectly dark. Yep, we even used real candles – with actual fire.

…and if time permitted before Halloween, the obligatory corn maze.

Halloween night, she was in her costume before dinner was made! A quick and full night of going around neighborhoods with her friends – grabbing all the candies she can get.

But, it didn’t end there. The next day, we’d hit the local stores for the “on sale” gummy candies, desperately trying to find the store with left over gummy body parts. The box stores got a visit for fun skully stuff we could put around the house. Even the Jack O’Lanterns stayed for a few more weeks.

So, Halloween lasted a few weeks… and I miss that, now.

The Paradigm of Memory

That sounds like a Pink Floyd song, right? It’s also a real thing, too.

The short of it is this: We remember things as better than they were and we “see” the future as being worse than it will be. The saddest part? We, as humans, tend not to see the present at all.

So, our beautiful and flawless babies will grow into murderers, drop-outs, and country music stars… and we hardly notice the now – good or bad. (I’ll argue that we don’t see the bad, but for the sake of the paradigm, let’s negate the negative bias experience. Some of us yearn for the pitter-patter of little feet again. But, if asked about the almost constant vomiting, we shrug a feeble “Oh… yeah…”

halloween-03That’s the same for every one of our “I sure do miss…” parenting moments.

The hay ride? Ridiculously expensive. The pumpkin picking? Arrggghh! Just pick one already! They’re all the same. The pumpkin carving? Yeah, that was a horrible mess to clean up. The Jack O’Lanterns? Eaten by squirrels just after the condo association complained about an open fire.

Just having the memories of time together is amazing… but the actual time together? Well, maybe as “amazing” as some of those Jack O’Lanterns.

Change is good

As the holiday came around this year, there wasn’t so much of the stuff that made Halloween feel special. We didn’t even carve pumpkins. It’s just another day – for her. For me, it’s a distinct example of the eventual passage of time.

Kids change.

…and that’s a good thing. It’s just as great now as it was then. Maybe, even better.

halloween-04I sure wouldn’t trade her adult-like personality and sense of humor.
Things like “dinner out” are more about doing something together we both like, instead of the food being a treat.
And her being able to drive herself to her friends? Priceless!

I’ll admit, though, I did scroll through a bunch of pics and wander down the costume isle of my local box store. Don’t tell anyone, OK?

Somewhere in the future, these times now will be the ones we miss. Might as well enjoy them, now. Before you go, I’d love to know what some of the “now” things are that will make the best memories. Leave a comment.


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